It's funny how doctors and even those that have gone through a procedure will gloss over or even forget the details of how crappy the ordeal truly is.
- I was told I would be out of commission for 10 days to two weeks. Pretty accurate. I returned to work on day 13.
- I was told the pain was awful. True - definitely blows away childbirth and I had back labor so it was rather excruciating.
- I would have limited ability to eat and drinking liquids quickly might come out my nose. True. In fact its quite funny to do on purpose if I can suffer the pain. My son thinks is hilarious - "Mommy blow the water out your nose again..."
- I might sound nasally. Well I don't sound like Fran Dresher in the Nanny but I do sound like I was born partially deaf. At least to me - others say I sound different - don't be polite just tell me. It's kind of funny. (It's kind of funny in a Jack Black robocop voice - now that's funny - rent Be Kind Rewind but don't expect too much)
- I would lose weight - woohoo - hell yeah I did and I'm still losing so yippee for me.
Here's what no one told me (some of these are funny - you have to picture me stumbling all mediciney headed around my house in bed clothes, hair all in disarray, afraid to talk or swallow, starving and dying of thirst):
- The pain medication hurt so bad to take that I didn't want to take it but suffered through it to be able to sleep or drink
- Codeine is your friend
- You can't stop a sneeze no matter what
- Sneezing is excruciating when your throat has been gutted
- Coughing is right up there with sneezing
- Yawning is excruciating - maybe topping sneezing due to frequency
- Excruciating as a term for the pain doesn't truly do it justice
- Salivating makes you have to spit - constantly - I hate to spit
- That funky smell is your throat rotting or something - healing???
- Coffee makes the stench worse
- Brushing your teeth is a dangerous and treacherous ordeal
- Something messes with your body's ability to process what it's taking in resulting in unexpected and uncontrollable BM's
- You can't shout at your suicidal pre-schooler
- Liquid diets are boring
- Jello for every meal for two weeks SUCKS!
- Chicken broth is not a beverage
- You can't blend a salad enough to make it palatable
But I'm back to work and my regular schedule. I can't eat or drink, talking hurts and I can't seem to stop the damned yawning.
Supposedly I will not get as sick anymore and I sleep without a snore.
Was it worth it? Dunno - that may be a future blog.
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3 comments:
Do you think that Clark could get this procedure for the snoring?
Pain for all those wrongs he's done me in the past sounds worth it to me.
Ha - It would likely solve the snoring but you know him - he'd NEVER go through with it:)
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